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THEN AND NOW

BY JOCELYN CUTIE

Before spelling there was nothing. There sometimes was the slightest glimmer of light in whatever hell I inhabited. The light was mainly emanated by my parents. But the world was mainly dark: I had no way of telling them that I was in this body. I had no means of communication. But I was totally one of the lucky ones. Had Mom and Dad not taken me to see Judy, the nightmare would never have ended. I am getting so teary now, just thinking about then and now.

9/24/2024 0 Comments

Alex and Me

I am really, really making it clear that Alex [Gorman] is my best friend. All my life I longed for someone to laugh with. Alex is the funniest person on Earth. I can’t tell you how much I look forward to seeing him twice a week. That needs to be clarified: that is all I see him because that’s how often I come here.

Alex has had it tougher than most of us. He is still undergoing treatment for the illness that destroyed his life for years. He has no Dad, since his walked out when he was young. He is maybe the happiest person even still. He makes everyone laugh their asses off. He is not only funniest - he is the smartest and also the most handsome.

So maybe others say that they are his besties: I am bestie too. Best friends are not limited to one. Can I allow others in his life? Of course he is allowed to have others, as long as there’s room for me.

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9/17/2024 0 Comments

Judys

I worked my parents over but good, and got my tortoise. I recommend that if you want one too, that you use big puppy eyes. It worked like a charm. So yeah, I got mine and named her Judy Cutie.

A few things to say about her:

Firstly she is far more beautiful than Alex’s tortoise. Mine is really stunning: his is…meh. I am so happy that Judy has the most beautiful shell! Most people think that tortoises are not smart. Judy, however, is a genius.

Secondly, Judy has the personality of her namesake. Calm and hilarious at the same time. I have the best time with both.

And there is more: they have made my life happier. I am happy. So so happy. I feel so much more like the Joss I should have been if I did not get dyspraxia. I feel myself growing in so many ways. Happy Joss is who I was meant to be.

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9/11/2024 1 Comment

My Real Birthday

I always dreamed of having life be more like those of the non-disabled. I had the dream of having real friends, not just the kids in the class. I am Hallmark
moment-ing: I have to remind myself that I am awake frequently. Each time I come to M2H I get teary inside, because I have real friends finally. Can you imagine life with no friends? Can you imagine the most happy moments of your life alone?

Happy moments are always with loved ones. Happiness is something shared. All my moments of happiness were in the company of someone I love. Maybe that explains why my happy birthday really was happy this year. All my friends were there. I am considering this year’s party to be my first real one.

It really is the celebration of my new life.

I am getting teary writing this. Call me crazy but…maybe I am really one now! One year now of being me. Hallmark moment again: definitely naming the new tortoise I am getting for my birthday Judy.

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