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3/17/2026 0 Comments

Finding Myself

I am particularly interested in math these days. It is so elegant. Either I’m turning into a total math nerd, or Christine is one awesome teacher. I never thought I’d love it so much. I am becoming a real geek I think.

I don’t mind being a nerd because it’s kind of cool to be something. I was nothing but a cognitively impaired person before spelling. It’s interesting to actually become who I would have been if I didn’t get autism. I might’ve been a jock or an emo kind of guy…but I’m not.

I’m a math nerd. And proud of it.

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12/3/2025 0 Comments

College Someday?

I am thinking a lot these days about college. I get upset when I think about it. I want to go more than anything but…how can I? I need a team of CPs to go with me, and to help me with my homework. They don’t exist. Alex is doing it online because there are not enough open CPs. Can we train more people? Alex’s mom can help him with his work, but I am not really fully open at home.

College is my dream. Will I be able to fulfill it?

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10/24/2025 0 Comments

It's Time

I feel totally hopeful that things are changing for us. It’s nothing that I can point to directly - it’s just a feeling. There is the fact that Mouth to Hand continues to grow. And there is Alex’s appearance at the CHD Conference in a couple of weeks. It’s sold out, I just learned. Having a nonspeakers panel there is huge. We have been waiting for help forever.

Way before I was born, some of my friends were diagnosed. Alex has waited for thirty years for something to help him. It’s insane that there’s still nothing.

I am feeling like something big is going to happen soon. I want it to be two things. First, I want it to be something to help our symptoms, especially the OCD. Secondly, I want typing to be universally accepted. I want my school to be forced to educate me. I am tired of being thought of as stupid.

So yeah, it is time for something big and great to happen.

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9/22/2025 1 Comment

My Dream

I am kind of excited these days. I am feeling like I will attempt to perfect my typing sooner rather than later. I get it, that typing by ourselves is difficult in the extreme. But despite that, I am making progress.
Here’s my dream:
Mom and I walk into my IEP meeting together. The morons in my district are sitting there smugly, like they always do. They start to say that I am placed appropriately in a class for the cognitively impaired, when I start to type by myself. I type, “You dumbasses. My Mom has been telling you for years that I am brilliant. Now all of you are going down. Here is my psychologist’s report attesting to my genius IQ. Here is my acceptance to Harvard. And here is a letter from my lawyer…I’ll see you shits in court.”
It’s the best dream ever.
It’s gonna happen too.
I then will go to Harvard Law School so I can wipe the floor with these shits. I’ll take down your shitty school people for you. And then we’ll laugh and laugh when they cry like babies.
I can’t wait.
So yeah, I need to finish learning to type by myself.

1 Comment

8/11/2025 0 Comments

A Reason To Celebrate

So, no one is happier than me these days. I am feeling so much calmer because my Mom took me to the best doctor ever. I can sometimes even make my stupid mouth shut the hell up I give him credit for improving my life and the lives of my family. I am really, really Hallmark Momenting now, but it is my dream come true. These days my mouth noise is probably 75% gone. That was one of my least favorite things on earth.

For years and years my mouth became the bane of my existence. I couldn’t stop it from reciting Sesame Street. I don’t know why it chose that. But having it endlessly recite stupid episodes made me look like a moron. I totally tried to make it stop, but it never listened. I got made fun of in school because of it.

But now it’s quieter and quieter. And I don’t feel angry anymore. I am just calm and happy. I can enjoy things more, and I am not feeling embarrassed, like I did. For the first time in my life I believe that I can accomplish things. I am sure I will be able to take the high school equivalency exam and get my diploma.

So happiness is possible even when you are nonspeaking. I feel like cheering! Hip hip hooray!

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5/28/2025 0 Comments

Photography

I just finished a lesson on photography. It was incredibly interesting and strangely inspiring. I had no idea that so much thought and artistry went into photography. Judy showed me a bunch of famous photos, and I was able to see now how well structured they are. That is so cool.

Now that I can see it, I am super excited to take good photos. Having contrast and being centered are just two of the important things. The thing is, I believe it is something I can actually do. I am kind of inspired to try.

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4/16/2025 5 Comments

Cure Autism Now

Awkward to say perhaps but - I am eager to discuss awkward things. All my life I felt ashamed of myself because I look and sound cognitively impaired, but I’m not. It’s hard to be a mismatch of inside and outside. People think you’re something you’re not; and they are judging you on the outside appearance. I felt demeaned by it, and a sense of shame because I know what I appear to be…and I can’t control or stop it. My stupid mouth spouts Sesame Street endlessly. And that makes me appear to be someone I’m not. I don’t know why it picked Sesame Street but for heaven’s sake, I’m 14 years old! I don’t know why my idiotic OCD settled on Sesame Street.

I hate it more than words can say.

Those people who don’t want a cure for autism can go jump in a lake. Let them live with their mouths spouting Sesame Street instead of language for even one day, and let’s see how they feel then. They’d be begging for a cure in ten minutes.

I am begging for a cure. I don’t want to live like this for the rest of my life. I want to be on the outside what I am on the inside. I am highly intelligent, and I want the world to see me that way. I want to have control over my own body for Pete’s sake.

And I am sick and tired of my freaking mouth reciting Sesame Street.

5 Comments

3/26/2025 0 Comments

Medicines: An Update

I am totally improving on my medicine. My brain is calming down and I have moments of real peace. Happy to report that heeding Dr. Minhas’ [psychiatrist] advice has totally started to help me. I believe this will continue to improve my life because I can look more normal, being quieter. My mouth is still making a racket most of the time - but not all the time. I have to be patient while we figure out the exact right medicines and doses, but I’m encouraged. I believe in a few months I will be quiet. I am also not angry all the time, which feels good. And I have to say too that I’m sleeping better. So, two thumbs up for Dr. Minhas.

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2/19/2025 0 Comments

Help Us

I am getting happier every week. My Mom rocks, and she took me to see a great, new psychiatrist. He apparently sees many M2Hers. He is helping me so much. On top of that, I feel more positive about myself. I don’t hate myself anymore.

So here’s the thing, parents: I know that many of you hate to give us medicines. But you are not doing us any favors. I hated being angry all the time. I always felt horrible after hitting Judy. I hated that I was being mean to my Mom. I couldn’t stop though. But now that I’m on medicine, I feel so much happier. So please understand that we must live in these terrible bodies that don’t listen to our minds. It’s up to you to help us.

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12/18/2024 3 Comments

Typing By Myself

About eighteen months ago, my mother made me start independent typing with Judy. I hated it more than I can say. It pissed me off so much that I couldn’t get to any of the letters. It was hard to keep trying, but my Mom and Judy pushed me. Sometimes I would get so mad I’d punch Judy…and then I’d hate myself. But they persisted and made me keep trying.

Right before Thanksgiving, it clicked. I believe it was Liam’s [Judy’s son] visit that inspired me. I wanted to show off, so I made a huge effort. I typed my first sentence, openly, with no CP. It was freaking awesome. In the New Year I want to get better and faster…and then I want to show my school district just how wrong they’ve been.

It will be epic.

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