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8/31/2026 0 Comments

School Sucks

School starts soon. Another year in hell. I dread it more than I can say. Other students really love the first day of school; I am sick over it. They will get to learn all kinds of interesting things. I will spend the year having to do the alphabet. They will be in clubs and sports. I will really learn nothing while not being allowed to join anything.

Torture.

I am lucky - at least I have Mouth to Hand. It is the only place where everyone knows how smart we are.

Sorry for being grumpy today. The start of school always puts me into a pissy mood. My twin sister gets to go to high school like a normal teen. I don’t.

Can you blame me?

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7/15/2026 0 Comments

The Holoboard

Today I tried the holoboard. It was beyond cool. I totally typed nouns by myself on it! It’s not easy to use because you have to use your virtual hand. It definitely is something that will take getting used to. Still, I loved it. The goggles were not a problem. I am excited to try the real program.

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5/20/2026 0 Comments

What Has to Happen?

There are so many more nonspeakers than there were when I started this. There are probably thousands by now. I keep wondering how many of us there needs to be to make the doubters believe in us.

I wonder what it will take.

Will more research studies help, and if so, what kind? Besides message passing, can’t other studies confirm authorship?

All we want is to be believed because if we were accepted as intelligent, more help would come our way.

What will it take?

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3/17/2026 0 Comments

Finding Myself

I am particularly interested in math these days. It is so elegant. Either I’m turning into a total math nerd, or Christine is one awesome teacher. I never thought I’d love it so much. I am becoming a real geek I think.

I don’t mind being a nerd because it’s kind of cool to be something. I was nothing but a cognitively impaired person before spelling. It’s interesting to actually become who I would have been if I didn’t get autism. I might’ve been a jock or an emo kind of guy…but I’m not.

I’m a math nerd. And proud of it.

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12/3/2025 0 Comments

College Someday?

I am thinking a lot these days about college. I get upset when I think about it. I want to go more than anything but…how can I? I need a team of CPs to go with me, and to help me with my homework. They don’t exist. Alex is doing it online because there are not enough open CPs. Can we train more people? Alex’s mom can help him with his work, but I am not really fully open at home.

College is my dream. Will I be able to fulfill it?

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10/24/2025 0 Comments

It's Time

I feel totally hopeful that things are changing for us. It’s nothing that I can point to directly - it’s just a feeling. There is the fact that Mouth to Hand continues to grow. And there is Alex’s appearance at the CHD Conference in a couple of weeks. It’s sold out, I just learned. Having a nonspeakers panel there is huge. We have been waiting for help forever.

Way before I was born, some of my friends were diagnosed. Alex has waited for thirty years for something to help him. It’s insane that there’s still nothing.

I am feeling like something big is going to happen soon. I want it to be two things. First, I want it to be something to help our symptoms, especially the OCD. Secondly, I want typing to be universally accepted. I want my school to be forced to educate me. I am tired of being thought of as stupid.

So yeah, it is time for something big and great to happen.

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9/22/2025 1 Comment

My Dream

I am kind of excited these days. I am feeling like I will attempt to perfect my typing sooner rather than later. I get it, that typing by ourselves is difficult in the extreme. But despite that, I am making progress.
Here’s my dream:
Mom and I walk into my IEP meeting together. The morons in my district are sitting there smugly, like they always do. They start to say that I am placed appropriately in a class for the cognitively impaired, when I start to type by myself. I type, “You dumbasses. My Mom has been telling you for years that I am brilliant. Now all of you are going down. Here is my psychologist’s report attesting to my genius IQ. Here is my acceptance to Harvard. And here is a letter from my lawyer…I’ll see you shits in court.”
It’s the best dream ever.
It’s gonna happen too.
I then will go to Harvard Law School so I can wipe the floor with these shits. I’ll take down your shitty school people for you. And then we’ll laugh and laugh when they cry like babies.
I can’t wait.
So yeah, I need to finish learning to type by myself.

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8/11/2025 0 Comments

A Reason To Celebrate

So, no one is happier than me these days. I am feeling so much calmer because my Mom took me to the best doctor ever. I can sometimes even make my stupid mouth shut the hell up I give him credit for improving my life and the lives of my family. I am really, really Hallmark Momenting now, but it is my dream come true. These days my mouth noise is probably 75% gone. That was one of my least favorite things on earth.

For years and years my mouth became the bane of my existence. I couldn’t stop it from reciting Sesame Street. I don’t know why it chose that. But having it endlessly recite stupid episodes made me look like a moron. I totally tried to make it stop, but it never listened. I got made fun of in school because of it.

But now it’s quieter and quieter. And I don’t feel angry anymore. I am just calm and happy. I can enjoy things more, and I am not feeling embarrassed, like I did. For the first time in my life I believe that I can accomplish things. I am sure I will be able to take the high school equivalency exam and get my diploma.

So happiness is possible even when you are nonspeaking. I feel like cheering! Hip hip hooray!

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5/28/2025 0 Comments

Photography

I just finished a lesson on photography. It was incredibly interesting and strangely inspiring. I had no idea that so much thought and artistry went into photography. Judy showed me a bunch of famous photos, and I was able to see now how well structured they are. That is so cool.

Now that I can see it, I am super excited to take good photos. Having contrast and being centered are just two of the important things. The thing is, I believe it is something I can actually do. I am kind of inspired to try.

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4/16/2025 5 Comments

Cure Autism Now

Awkward to say perhaps but - I am eager to discuss awkward things. All my life I felt ashamed of myself because I look and sound cognitively impaired, but I’m not. It’s hard to be a mismatch of inside and outside. People think you’re something you’re not; and they are judging you on the outside appearance. I felt demeaned by it, and a sense of shame because I know what I appear to be…and I can’t control or stop it. My stupid mouth spouts Sesame Street endlessly. And that makes me appear to be someone I’m not. I don’t know why it picked Sesame Street but for heaven’s sake, I’m 14 years old! I don’t know why my idiotic OCD settled on Sesame Street.

I hate it more than words can say.

Those people who don’t want a cure for autism can go jump in a lake. Let them live with their mouths spouting Sesame Street instead of language for even one day, and let’s see how they feel then. They’d be begging for a cure in ten minutes.

I am begging for a cure. I don’t want to live like this for the rest of my life. I want to be on the outside what I am on the inside. I am highly intelligent, and I want the world to see me that way. I want to have control over my own body for Pete’s sake.

And I am sick and tired of my freaking mouth reciting Sesame Street.

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