ECT: A Fairy Tale

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away there lived an alien who called herself Winny. Winny was different from the other aliens. She was not able to stop herself from crying all the time. The others tried to comfort her to no avail. 


One day a visitor came to her village. Winny couldn’t believe her eyes!  It appeared that he couldn’t stop crying either. “Why do you cry?” she asked.

“All I do is cry,” he sobbed, “There’s never a reason.”

So Winny and Adam, for that was the stranger’s name, sat together and cried. 

Now, in the forest next to the village there lived a strange, old woman who the villagers believed was a witch. They believed her to be both wise and magical, and thus they greatly feared her. One sunny day, when Winny and Adam were crying particularly hard, there was a knock on the door of Winny’s hut. Winny opened the door to find standing there the terrifying old woman. Although Winny was frightened, she also was puzzled. The reason for the witch’s visit had to be important.

“Please come in,” she politely said. The witch entered with jars of lightning bugs in each hand. 

“I’m here to help you,” she said, smiling, “You two are very interesting aliens. It’s taken me a long time to figure out how to cure the crying disease.”

The words were music to their ears. They’d waited what felt like forever to hear them. The old witch took the jars and handed one to each of them. “Take one three times a week. These are magic lightning bugs, and hold lightning I’ve captured. All you need to do is let one sit on your head and zap you. I say this for your own health: be sure to be lying down. Don’t mind the uncontrollable shaking, by the way!” And she let out an evil cackle. 

It was then that she vanished in a puff of malodorous smoke.

Winny and Adam, who were wailing loudly, looked at each other and immediately plucked magic bugs from their jars. Laying down, they placed the bugs on their foreheads. And when the shaking stopped, both found so had the crying. They both lived happily ever after. 

A magic treatment gave them their fairytale ending.

That will also be the case for me and Alex, who have both been diagnosed with excited catatonia. ECT [electroconvulsivetherapy] will be our magic lighting bugs.


The End