My Olympic Dream

SUBLIMELY RIDICULOUS

Insights on Today's World

A Blog
by Nonspeaker, Wit, Sage and Standup Comic
Justin Abinanti

My name is Justin Abinanti and I am nonspeaking. I am most certainly verbal though. Many of my fellow nonspeakers are highly academic, but not me. I think I must have been born under a silly star. I’m eager to make it in comedy. I’ve given it thought and I am a born stand-up. Unfortunately the world is not quite ready for a stand-up comedian who cannot speak. Not being able to speak might hold some people back, but I am basically professionally resilient. Maybe I’ll never take over hosting the Tonight Show or starring at Caroline’s Comedy Club, but there are other ways to shine.

Thus my blog which gives me, a speller, a venue to comment on the idiocy, silliness, weirdness and hilarity of our world.

5/13/2025 0 Comments

My Olympic Dream

Really something extraordinary just happened. I was momentarily speechless. How could such a thing happen, you ask. Judy showed me a news story on the new sport, sperm racing. It’s not made up…it’s actually a thing.

Can I just say that I have found my Olympic sport. I may be not be in the ice skating dance competition, but spunky sperm I can do. I just watched the first official race, and was appalled by the quality of the competitors. My sperm could run circles around them. I can see it now, my lighting the Olympic Torch before making my way into the bathroom, Playboy in hand.

I am heading to Las Vegas to enter the next major race. Rumor has it that I may be up against some stiff competition. Being that all my thoughts have to do with hot chicks, I can’t imagine myself struggling to enter. I have risen to many challenges in my life, and am hard to beat.

I am in it to win it.