The Easy and The Hard

This time last month I was in a medically-induced coma, in the ICU of Long Island Jewish Hospital.  My mystery condition, that had made my life and my family's lives, a living hell for 4 1/2 years had become life threatening.  I couldn't eat most of the time because food gave me utterly horrific nausea.  Eating so didn't feel right: I really could not eat.  Worse than that, my mind was gone. Every moment of every day was a blur of total insanity.  Writing this blog post is decidedly not fun.

The reason I am writing it though is to talk about my Mom.  There are no words to explain what she has done for me.  I know what easy would have looked like. It would have had me strapped to a bed in a nursing home, testing patient cruelty regulations because how much screaming can anyone take?  I still can't believe that Mom had to listen to that every day, for years.

But Mom never does easy...and no one does tenacity like her.  You cannot understand how hellish these years have been for her, and how many times really were potentially dangerous. There really is no way I can explain how horrific this illness has been.  Easy would not have me sitting here today writing this.  Tenacity that is boundless, and had her searching for answers without pause, never stopping no matter how many times she failed, is why I am saved.

The best years of my life are in front of me because Mom was really trying every day, year after year.  I am wearing quite the smile as I finish this post. The determination my Mom demonstrated to help me will energize and encourage me to always do the hard.  It's worth it.