CP Woes

Taking a page out of A Man Called Ove, people have to decide what kind of a human they want to be. I have decided I want to be someone exciting and interesting. I have so many interests, ranging from math to music to literature to writing. To get to where I want to be takes huge effort on my part, but also my mother’s. That’s particularly troublesome to me. Wishing I could type by myself doesn’t make it a reality. 

Respiration and heart rate studies are going on currently to try to figure out the role of the communication partner. I was in one recently, at Abilis in Stamford, Connecticut. I had to play a simple video game, once with Mom, once alone, and once with a stranger. I could actually feel my heart rate speed up when the stranger sat down. I absolutely wanted her to leave me alone, even though certainly she was perfectly nice. 

People don’t understand what it’s like for us. We are so sensitive that we are constantly battling so much stress. I am incredibly intelligent and so motivated to succeed. Yes I am held back not by my inability to talk with my mouth, but by my inability to type without a CP. I will succeed even with this lodestone around my neck.  That is certain because…Mom. But it would be a hell of a lot easier if I could do it by myself.