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SEEING THE SUN

BY PAUL KLEIN
All my life I prayed for a miracle: to have a voice. My thoughts were mine alone, and that is the loneliest thing on earth. The first day I met Judy was like the first day I saw the sun. Within minutes I was talking to her on the laminate. I could talk! My world opened up, like a flower unfolding. Now all those thoughts that were trapped inside are bubbling out, like a soda can that’s been shaken. What is more precious than talking? What is more precious than friends? What is more precious than sharing who we are with each other?
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5/29/2025 2 Comments

Done With the BS

I cannot stop thinking about those people who don’t want a cure for autism. I hate them so much. I came in today and told Judy that I am so worried that they will stop research into the causes and cure. Her response made me want to write this blog post. 


Firstly, there is the why of what they believe. I guess that I can understand that they don’t want people to see themselves negatively. But the fact is that my disability adversely affects my life. I cannot do anything by myself; I am utterly dependent on my family. I have to watch my sisters achieve things that I cannot. I am so tired of it…and I am only in my twenties. 

Judy explained that there is likely no ill intent on the part of some of them. Some believe that it hurts people’s feelings to imply that there is something wrong with them. I find that to be a naive and misguided way of thinking. I am only too aware that there is something wrong with me, and calling a spade a spade is not hurtful: it is reality. I am not only not into pretending I’m not disabled, I want people to acknowledge it and help to find solutions. 

I have come to understand that there are an awful lot of people who do not have good intentions too. Autism is big business, after all. I am old enough to recognize that money is all-too-often more important than human suffering. So facing facts, there are a lot of people who don’t want autism to be cured because they are making money off of our suffering. 

I don’t know which is the bigger group, the misguided, naive morons, or the money-grubbing assholes, but I am fed up. I want to be cured like yesterday. I want a chance to totally fulfill my intellectual abilities. I want to be independent. I want the chance to be the Paul who lives inside this malfunctioning body.

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2 Comments
Nancy Naylor/Andrew Sarangan
5/30/2025 11:58:10 pm

Wow! You go Paul! What an impassioned piece!

Reply
Emily
5/31/2025 11:17:18 am

You took the words right out of my mouth! I agree with you 1000%. My daughter has vaccine injuries that LOOK and ACT like autism. In order to get services, the diagnosis was needed. My daughter is 14 and a non-speaker, very smart, she does spelling to communicate, but at school they treat her like she is in 1st grade. I am so sick of people not treating people how they should be treated. She has fine motor deficits but they won’t give her OT services. I just want to scream!

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