Done With the BS

I cannot stop thinking about those people who don’t want a cure for autism. I hate them so much. I came in today and told Judy that I am so worried that they will stop research into the causes and cure. Her response made me want to write this blog post. 


Firstly, there is the why of what they believe. I guess that I can understand that they don’t want people to see themselves negatively. But the fact is that my disability adversely affects my life. I cannot do anything by myself; I am utterly dependent on my family. I have to watch my sisters achieve things that I cannot. I am so tired of it…and I am only in my twenties. 

Judy explained that there is likely no ill intent on the part of some of them. Some believe that it hurts people’s feelings to imply that there is something wrong with them. I find that to be a naive and misguided way of thinking. I am only too aware that there is something wrong with me, and calling a spade a spade is not hurtful: it is reality. I am not only not into pretending I’m not disabled, I want people to acknowledge it and help to find solutions. 

I have come to understand that there are an awful lot of people who do not have good intentions too. Autism is big business, after all. I am old enough to recognize that money is all-too-often more important than human suffering. So facing facts, there are a lot of people who don’t want autism to be cured because they are making money off of our suffering. 

I don’t know which is the bigger group, the misguided, naive morons, or the money-grubbing assholes, but I am fed up. I want to be cured like yesterday. I want a chance to totally fulfill my intellectual abilities. I want to be independent. I want the chance to be the Paul who lives inside this malfunctioning body.