OCD Hell

Many of us need medicines to help us with a variety of issues. I believe that psychiatry is still a very primitive field. It is essentially guesswork, getting the correct medicine. Maybe it’s not only the fault of the doctors:  the medicines themselves stink. 


It’s awkward to admit in public that I have horrific OCD, but for the sake of helping others, I will. I hate the endless, looping thoughts that make me insane. I have to have someone repeat the same stupid words, or I can’t bear it. Really idiotic. It’s not rational thinking:  it’s my mind needing the words said by someone. Loops of thoughts cycling endlessly, like needing someone to say out loud the names of my mostly-forgotten second grade classmates. Rationally, I couldn’t care less about them. OCD-wise, I must hear my mother say their names.

I am desperate to have some relief. The thoughts are making me crazy. The anxiety I experience in any new place, or in any situation that is outside the normal schedule, is insane. 

Maybe there is a medicine that can help. I am demanding that help from our psychiatrist.