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YOUR CART

NOT OTHERWISE DEFINED

BY PETE ROSCH
I am not really defined by my OCD, but some days it feels like I am. It dictates my behavior every minute of every day. It is perpetually in doubt as to whether I am doing things myself, or because I’m compelled. Meaningful moments outside of spelling are few and far between. Every moment is permanently possessed by compulsions. But I am not my OCD. Nor am I defined by my diagnosis of autism. I am Peter Rosch, fried food aficionado, reader of poetry, lover of music, and writer of this blog.

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9/23/2024 5 Comments

My Cognitive Brain

The thing about typing for communication is that it’s respite for me. While I’m engaged in the process of talking, my OCD vanishes. I want that feeling of freedom to last forever. I believe that the act of typing forces my brain to disengage from its idiotic loops. I’m likening it to watching TV and not hearing the doorbell ring. I’ve realized that my brain cannot think about two things at once. Thus, thinking about what I want to say precludes me from thinking about where Judy’s laminate boards are or the seams in my pants or that my mother’s bag is on the floor not her shoulder and the bathroom that I don’t really need but must use anyway, and so forth.

That is why typing is respite. We get stuck in patterns of thought just like our bodies make repetitive movements. Maybe Judy is right when she tells us to “get into the cognitive brain.” My cognitive brain is a wonderful place to be. I wish I could stay there forever. 

 

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5 Comments
Jim Cutie
9/23/2024 04:32:17 pm

Dear Pete,

We haven’t met yet, but I hope we will soon. Chris, Joss and I find respite at MTH most Tuesdays and Thursdays. Your blog is important for all of us.

Jim

Reply
Michele Bleacher
9/29/2024 08:23:49 pm

Peter I am so glad you started a blog. I enjoyed meeting you on our cruise. I hope to get to know you better through your writing.

Reply
Christina Havens
9/30/2024 03:19:15 pm

Hey Peter! I'm so glad you have a blog now! Which do you like best? Introspective writing/blogging, writing poetry, or writing your short story? You are so good at all of them!

Reply
Uncle Andy
9/30/2024 05:40:04 pm

Great to see you writing. I find it helps me relax, too.

Reply
Michele Bleacher
10/30/2024 03:40:52 am

Peter,
I am glad to hear you had a better experience at the dentist. I also don’t like people poking around in my mouth with their fingers and tools. I might have to investigate a new dentist. I hope you continue to type and share your thoughts through this blog.
Michele

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