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NOT OTHERWISE DEFINED

BY PETE ROSCH

I am not really defined by my OCD, but some days it feels like I am. It dictates my behavior every minute of every day. It is perpetually in doubt as to whether I am doing things myself, or because I’m compelled. Meaningful moments outside of spelling are few and far between. Every moment is permanently possessed by compulsions. But I am not my OCD. Nor am I defined by my diagnosis of autism. I am Peter Rosch, fried food aficionado, reader of poetry, lover of music, and writer of this blog.

6/16/2025 1 Comment

Living History

Definitely I am psyched about being in another group with Luke. Judy is starting new groups because there are so many new students.

I believe we are making huge progress in terms of our rights to communicate as we see fit. I can finally see that things are starting to improve for us. More and more nonspeakers are being brought to centers to learn to spell. With more typers out there, we are becoming a force. We are getting heard, more and more.

I am kind of blown away by how different things are than when I started spelling just a few years ago. There were just a few of us in Judy’s basement. Now Mouth to Hand is closing in on 100 students. The world is changing, and I am excited to watch history unfold.

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6/2/2025 0 Comments

Spelling Tsunami

The tsunami of spelling for communication is rapidly approaching the shore. I believe that the revolution has not only begun, but we are taking over new territories daily. There are more and more nonspeakers learning to talk everywhere. There are more people who disbelieved in this who are changing their minds all the time.

When I learned to talk on the boards several years ago, there were so few of us. We started in Judy’s basement with like 10 or so of us. Now look at Mouth to Hand! That was only four years ago. Now there are like eighty of us.

I genuinely believe that inside of a few years, spelling will become the norm. I can’t wait.

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5/12/2025 0 Comments

Food Bonanza

Yesterday I gave my mother a Mother’s Day gift. I ate a bowl of mac and cheese. I know that may not sound like a gift, but trust me, it is. I probably have the most limited diet of anyone here at Mouth to Hand. I basically ate French fries and chicken fingers. Hallmark Moment: my Mom has been trying for years to get me to try new foods. But lately the OCD has relented enough to allow me to try things.

I am excited to report that I can eat noodles now, and I liked a meatball. I liked a hamburger and I liked different Chinese foods. I am making consistent progress now. Definitely another big step is that I am able to use a fork and spoon. The OCD really didn’t love utensils.

So I may not yet be eating kale salads, as Judy suggested. But who knows? In the future, fresh salads may be on the menu.

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4/28/2025 1 Comment

I Want to be Cured

It is hard when we strongly disagree with our parents. I believe that we should already have better treatments for autism. My parents are extremely left-wing, and are anti-RFK. I strongly disagree though. In fact, I am furious with them over this.

I am incredibly disabled. I can’t speak at all, and I have hellish OCD. Then, to boot, I have episodes of self-injury that I can’t control. My forehead is disfigured from my banging it over and over throughout the years. I do not want to live the rest of my life like this. So when someone in power tells me that he recognizes that autism is an epidemic that needs to be stopped, and treatments need to be found, I am thrilled.

I don’t care what political party he is, because this goes beyond politics. This is only about my suffering, and that of my friends. There needs to be a point at which politics becomes irrelevant. I’ve hit that point - and I can only hope that my parents do too.

[Editor's Note: Not only did Pete's parents permit this to be published; they went out of their way to assure him that they want to hear his voice, even when they disagree with him. And they also assured him that they want a cure as much as he.]

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4/21/2025 0 Comments

Cool Technology

Today Judy needed to cheer me up because I’m grumpy. She showed me a video of a nonspeaking man wearing a device on his head that could read his brainwaves and then speak for him. It did cheer me up a bit. The cool thing about technology is that it just gets better. I genuinely believe that in the not very distant future there will be some kind of technology to help us. Maybe it will just read our minds so we can just type on a computer. Maybe someday soon spelling will be outdated.

But don’t worry…Judy will never retire.

The Cognixion Axon-R Headset

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4/7/2025 0 Comments

The Best Night of the Year

All my life I’ve been the disabled younger brother. It really hurt when I’d watch my older brother doing cool things like going to college, getting a job and an apartment. I accomplished nothing until I came to M2H years ago. I am totally proud of what I have accomplished here. I definitely could not have foreseen that coming here would change everything. I can talk, write and learn. That is a miracle. I finally am doing things of which I can be proud. And let me tell you, that feels pretty great.

ME WITH ELIZABETH BONKER!

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3/31/2025 0 Comments

Nice People

There still are some nice people in the world. Every time we are on our way home from M2H we stop by Wendy’s. The manager always gives me my meal for free. At our candy shop they basically give me candy for free. And at a lot of restaurants, the staffs are super nice. Then of course there are the people at Mouth to Hand. No one is nicer than them, because they honestly don’t feel that nonspeakers are any less than speakers.

There are others I could mention, but the point is that there are still genuinely kind people in the world. I wish that everyone acted that way. The thing is, people don’t. Those that don’t are not the kinds of people who want we nonspeakers to be cognitively normal. I can’t say I understand what their beef is, but they want to be right no matter the cost.

Getting back to the nice people, though: it’s wonderful to be with them. That is why the best day of the week is M2H Mondays.

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3/24/2025 0 Comments

Another Doctor Appointment

I feel awkward saying this but kind of need to get it off my chest. I was taken to an optometrist and am seriously pissed. It was like a load of bullshit. My vision is fine, and more than that, I don’t need any kind of glasses.

What made me angry was letting the optometrist make normal things abnormal. He talked to me like I was two, and implied that I was damaged. Mom explained to him that I am not cognitively impaired but he would not listen. I don’t care that he supposedly had to shift his perception. He was getting on my nerves. Going to medical appointments is totally stressful enough. But going to one where the doctor treats you like a moron is horrible.

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2/17/2025 7 Comments

My Birthday

It was my 25th birthday this weekend. Birthdays always make me reflect on myself, contemplating the year that has passed. This year was, in many ways, my best. My parents finally found a doctor who helped me. The new medicines I am taking have stopped my terrible episodes of self-injury. I cannot express in words the relief I feel. It’s like the weight of a mountain has been lifted from me.

It has been a really wonderful year in other ways too. I went on my first cruise, and loved it. I was so nervous beforehand because I was worried that my OCD would ruin it. But it didn’t really bother me all week.

And I have learned a ton of things this year, and started my own blog. I feel like I have accomplished a lot, and that is a great feeling.

So all in all, I’d say that this past year was the best of my life. And that definitely was worth celebrating.

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1/6/2025 1 Comment

No Episodes

It is nearing two months since my last episode of self-injury. Prior to this change in medicines, it was not uncommon for me to have several episodes each day. An awkward topic, I know, and one that makes many people uncomfortable. But I think it’s incredibly important to talk about it openly.

I do not know why my body wanted to hurt itself. I do not know what caused the episodes. I could not stop them from happening, and while they were going on, I could not stop myself from hitting my own head. Over the years my parents consulted doctors, and tried some medicines, but those did nothing. It was only recently when, in discussion with me, that we tried medicines in the family of antipsychotics.

I know many people are afraid of these medicines, but they serve an important role in medicine. Self-injury and aggression are horrific, and put both us, and everyone around us, at risk. I myself have given myself a cataract in one eye, and have disfigured my own forehead by repeatedly hitting my head. And it could have been even worse.

Let me say that I am so happy that my parents did not give up trying to help me. And I am so glad that they did not let their own fears get in the way of trying antipsychotics. It has changed my life. Every day now I set a new record for no episodes.

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MOUTH TO HAND LEARNING CENTER, INC.

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NOT OTHERWISE DEFINED

Living History

Spelling Tsunami

Food Bonanza

I Want to be Cured

Cool Technology

The Cognixion Axon-R Headset

The Best Night of the Year

ME WITH ELIZABETH BONKER!

Nice People

Another Doctor Appointment

My Birthday

No Episodes

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MOUTH TO HAND LEARNING CENTER, INC.

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