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NOT OTHERWISE DEFINED

BY PETE ROSCH

I am not really defined by my OCD, but some days it feels like I am. It dictates my behavior every minute of every day. It is perpetually in doubt as to whether I am doing things myself, or because I’m compelled. Meaningful moments outside of spelling are few and far between. Every moment is permanently possessed by compulsions. But I am not my OCD. Nor am I defined by my diagnosis of autism. I am Peter Rosch, fried food aficionado, reader of poetry, lover of music, and writer of this blog.

6/15/2026 4 Comments

Pete at the Movies

I get it that you all didn’t know we were stuck in these stupid bodies. It meant that we never got to see movies because no one thought we could understand. It was something I wanted to do.

So now we are watching many movies. I love it! I loved Diehard and Men in Black. I want to perhaps see the ones that are considered classics like Gone With the Wind and Casablanca. I am interested in film history and learning about the actors. There are genres that I am interested in, like drama and comedy.

I am not sure yet who is my favorite actor or actress. I want to know other people’s favorites. I assume most people like Bruce Willis. I want to see The Sixth Sense soon.

Please list your favorite movies and actors below.

4 Comments

5/11/2026 0 Comments

Accomplishments

I am into almost all subjects, but don’t have opportunities to study many. For example, I’d like to learn math. I know some stuff, like long division. I know addition, subtraction, and multiplication. I know fractions some, and decimals. Some guys here are doing calculus, and I want that to be me. Also, I want to learn chemistry. And I want to go to college.

My friend, Luke, wrote a blog post this morning, and it was opened on Judy’s computer when I walked into her office. It was about how pissed he is not being able to go to college. Maybe that is how I feel too.

All of us are really smart. And we are capable of brilliance. It is interesting that Luke is feeling what I feel. I want to take the high school equivalency exam. I want to go to college. I want to feel proud of myself in spite of this stupid body.

It’s important to me.

0 Comments

2/2/2026 0 Comments

Groundhog’s Day

I am totally lucky. You might be surprised to hear a nonspeaker say that, but it’s true. The fact that I just got back from a long cruise to the Caribbean has inspired this post. It absolutely was the best vacation ever. It was warm and beautiful. The highlight was our trip on a submarine. I thought that was pretty much the coolest thing ever. I was surprised that I was not nervous; I thought that I might be, going under water like that. Instead, I was just excited.

The thing is, I can do things now, with no fear of meltdowns. I have had them on vacations in the past, and it is awful. But I’m lucky: my parents didn’t give up and found a medicine to help me.

So, here I sit in Judy’s office, having just come back from a cruise, having no meltdowns. And the fact that I get to come here is another lucky thing. We live in Framingham, MA. It’s a drive: I am so lucky my parents are willing to make it.
So today I feel really lucky. And Judy announced that Staten Island Chuck, the best groundhog, did not see his shadow. Early spring! Woohoo!

0 Comments

11/17/2025 1 Comment

OCD Thoughts

There are behaviors we have that we cannot control. I walked into Judy’s office today and needed to move one of her boards. I don’t know why I did…but I definitely needed to. I am beset all day with similar moments of need: a sudden urge to do something that must be done, or else. It makes no sense logically. We KNOW it makes no sense…but we must do that thing.

The worst part is the feeling of panic that accompanies the stupid urge. My cognitive brain is thinking, “You don’t have to suffocate yourself with the seatbelt, you idiot!” But I must get it as tight as possible, or else. It’s so tight it hurts…but it’s still not tight enough. I mean, how insane is that?!

I don’t know where these stupid needs come from. They seem to just pop into my head by themselves, and once there, I can’t get them out. I have zero control over them. And that is why everyone shouldn’t yell at me.

I feel stupid enough by myself doing them.

1 Comment

6/16/2025 1 Comment

Living History

Definitely I am psyched about being in another group with Luke. Judy is starting new groups because there are so many new students.

I believe we are making huge progress in terms of our rights to communicate as we see fit. I can finally see that things are starting to improve for us. More and more nonspeakers are being brought to centers to learn to spell. With more typers out there, we are becoming a force. We are getting heard, more and more.

I am kind of blown away by how different things are than when I started spelling just a few years ago. There were just a few of us in Judy’s basement. Now Mouth to Hand is closing in on 100 students. The world is changing, and I am excited to watch history unfold.

1 Comment

6/2/2025 0 Comments

Spelling Tsunami

The tsunami of spelling for communication is rapidly approaching the shore. I believe that the revolution has not only begun, but we are taking over new territories daily. There are more and more nonspeakers learning to talk everywhere. There are more people who disbelieved in this who are changing their minds all the time.

When I learned to talk on the boards several years ago, there were so few of us. We started in Judy’s basement with like 10 or so of us. Now look at Mouth to Hand! That was only four years ago. Now there are like eighty of us.

I genuinely believe that inside of a few years, spelling will become the norm. I can’t wait.

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5/12/2025 0 Comments

Food Bonanza

Yesterday I gave my mother a Mother’s Day gift. I ate a bowl of mac and cheese. I know that may not sound like a gift, but trust me, it is. I probably have the most limited diet of anyone here at Mouth to Hand. I basically ate French fries and chicken fingers. Hallmark Moment: my Mom has been trying for years to get me to try new foods. But lately the OCD has relented enough to allow me to try things.

I am excited to report that I can eat noodles now, and I liked a meatball. I liked a hamburger and I liked different Chinese foods. I am making consistent progress now. Definitely another big step is that I am able to use a fork and spoon. The OCD really didn’t love utensils.

So I may not yet be eating kale salads, as Judy suggested. But who knows? In the future, fresh salads may be on the menu.

0 Comments

4/28/2025 2 Comments

I Want to be Cured

It is hard when we strongly disagree with our parents. I believe that we should already have better treatments for autism. My parents are extremely left-wing, and are anti-RFK. I strongly disagree though. In fact, I am furious with them over this.

I am incredibly disabled. I can’t speak at all, and I have hellish OCD. Then, to boot, I have episodes of self-injury that I can’t control. My forehead is disfigured from my banging it over and over throughout the years. I do not want to live the rest of my life like this. So when someone in power tells me that he recognizes that autism is an epidemic that needs to be stopped, and treatments need to be found, I am thrilled.

I don’t care what political party he is, because this goes beyond politics. This is only about my suffering, and that of my friends. There needs to be a point at which politics becomes irrelevant. I’ve hit that point - and I can only hope that my parents do too.

[Editor's Note: Not only did Pete's parents permit this to be published; they went out of their way to assure him that they want to hear his voice, even when they disagree with him. And they also assured him that they want a cure as much as he.]

2 Comments

4/21/2025 0 Comments

Cool Technology

Today Judy needed to cheer me up because I’m grumpy. She showed me a video of a nonspeaking man wearing a device on his head that could read his brainwaves and then speak for him. It did cheer me up a bit. The cool thing about technology is that it just gets better. I genuinely believe that in the not very distant future there will be some kind of technology to help us. Maybe it will just read our minds so we can just type on a computer. Maybe someday soon spelling will be outdated.

But don’t worry…Judy will never retire.

The Cognixion Axon-R Headset

0 Comments

4/7/2025 0 Comments

The Best Night of the Year

All my life I’ve been the disabled younger brother. It really hurt when I’d watch my older brother doing cool things like going to college, getting a job and an apartment. I accomplished nothing until I came to M2H years ago. I am totally proud of what I have accomplished here. I definitely could not have foreseen that coming here would change everything. I can talk, write and learn. That is a miracle. I finally am doing things of which I can be proud. And let me tell you, that feels pretty great.

ME WITH ELIZABETH BONKER!

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NOT OTHERWISE DEFINED

Pete at the Movies

Accomplishments

Groundhog’s Day

OCD Thoughts

Living History

Spelling Tsunami

Food Bonanza

I Want to be Cured

Cool Technology

The Cognixion Axon-R Headset

The Best Night of the Year

ME WITH ELIZABETH BONKER!

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