Blog Archives

10/21/2024 3 Comments

Scary Me

Finding people who are the type to learn to love us is hard. Maybe a lot of people are willing to work with us, but not a lot are capable of loving us. After all, we are scary. People see me and are terrified: I am a very big man. I can tell when people are frightened of me, and it hurts more than I can say. All my adult life I’ve had to contend with that fear, and it has scarred me.

I have been thinking about this recently, and realize that I have healed a lot these past few years. I think it’s a combination of things. Firstly, of course, being able to talk has allowed me to vent rather than being bottled up inside. Secondly, walking into M2H is healing: no one here is afraid of any of us. I will Hallmark Moment for a second. Judy was genuinely shocked to learn I had been feared. That says more to me than I can put into words.

Finally, listening to the cheers every time I walk in here reminds me to not care what people think about me outside these walls. “So what if they are scared of me?” I can now say to myself, “In here I am known and seen and never feared.”

The fact is I will always be intimidating to those who don’t know me. But now it doesn’t hurt anymore.

3 Comments

10/7/2024 0 Comments

The Benefits of Hyperacusis

Big news abounds. Awkward to admit that I was eavesdropping on Judy…but I was. I absolutely cannot wait for our annual dance. All year I wait for it. Besides the gala, it’s the best night of the year. It’s at the same hotel as years past, but this year the theme is the 1980s.

It’s moments like this, when my stomach is filled with butterflies of happiness, that I think back on my life before spelling. Few people, outside of we nonspeakers, can truly get how life became heaven when it was hell for so long. There are moments it doesn’t seem real, feeling so happy to be alive.

Anyway, I believe that shopping for a costume is in order. And I will literally be counting the days.