Anxiety Sucks

9/30/2024 1 Comment

Anxiety Sucks

I have such bad anxiety sometimes that I can’t do things that I want to do. For example, I desperately want to go to a Yankee game. It’s one of my biggest dreams. But when we tried this year, I couldn’t go in. And I desperately wanted to go into the banquet room at the gala this year, but I couldn’t. I am tired of anxiety ruining my life.

It even made a big liar out of me. I wrote about that in a previous post. Anxiety forces me to do things that I hate and doesn’t let me do things I want to do so badly it hurts. Why do so many of us have these issues? As if being nonspeaking weren’t bad enough, there are so many things that make it worse.

I feel like I could accept being nonspeaking if I could at least do things I want. If I knew that I could go to ballgames or go to parties or be in college classes or do all the things normal people do, I could at least be happy. As of this minute, I feel like I am just waiting for the next time I can’t do something. And that feels terrible.

1 Comment

Tova who loves Luke

10/1/2024 10:04:50 pm

I don’t know if this helps, but I also struggle with anxiety. It wasn’t always this way but when it started it kept me from doing the things that I wanted to do, even the really cool things that seemed easy for anyone else. My friend won a contest to meet a famous musician and it involved a limo ride with them and seemed like so much fun but anxiety kept me from going with them. Anxiety has kept me from doing a lot of things, some that I used to do. So I do have empathy for you with this. And while it never FIXED the anxiety, when I spoke up about it and then heard people who seemed to be functioning OK in the world admit how serious their own anxiety was, I felt less alone. Unless you have had it, I think it is difficult to really understand what someone is going through. And somehow learning that I had friends and random strangers in doctors offices etc admit to being sufferers of severe anxiety, it made me feel less alone. It was so much more common than I had ever known. And it hurts, it’s really challenging for sure. Especially when you really really want something it feels like anxiety is betraying you.

I understand that there are many possible causes. I hope that you can get yours sorted out and at least lessen it, but of course my highest hope is that you are able to eliminate it.

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